The Goodbye Party

It has been a week of goodbyes for me, but I realize that for most au pairs (and Saint Tropez in general) it is a week of hellos. Les gens, ils arrivent! It's still not officially summer here, but every day it seems like there are more and more people in the streets and the traffic gets worse and worse. But I don't have to deal with that anymore because I'm done!

TOMORROW Ricky is arriving and the day after the kids will leave. Then Ricky and I will have a couple days to ourselves here before we head off to Paris and then to visit Kathy in Austria and then back to Nice before we fly home. I am very excited, I've missed him so much.

But this weekend was my goodbye party. I had a bunch of the girls over (Luisa, Eva, Nathalia and Alexandra). And we had a cookout in the apartment while Tom was in town watching some football game. Nathalia prepared some amazing Brazillian food and caipirinhas.

Then we went out in Saint Tropez and met up with some other au pairs. Annika and Freida came because it was their last weekend too. We also met some new au pairs and overall just enjoyed each others company. Like every weekend, I intended to stay out all night but by 4am I was exhausted and getting cranky. So we headed back to the house and called it a night.

I feel like a bit of a poop for cutting it short, because I wish this part of my time here would never end. Well sort of. I can already tell I'm getting sick again (comme d'habitude). But I'm so glad the rest of it is over. Hopefully the next few days won't be too bad and I can enjoy some beach time with Luisa or something like that.

I'll miss everyone I met here so much. Isabelle, Luisa, Nathalia, Tom, Kathy, and yes I might even miss the boys. You just get so used to one way of living it seems like it will be impossible to go back to the states and jump back into my old routine. I guess that is part of growing up though. The more things change the more they stay the same? Maybe that's the wrong cliche.

I'm not really excited to go home. I think because I'm constantly waiting for a new adventure. That's how it's always been. I'm not one to let myself sit around and be bored. I will jump at every opportunity I get even if it ends in complete catastrophe. Going home seems like the anti-adventure thing to do right now because I have no idea what's next. Will I just sink back into city college and never leave Sacramento again? Or will I get the guts to fly to New Orleans for Tulane? Or will I purposely miss my flight and just stay here forever and get a job at Lacoste or something (LOL)? Whatever I decide to do, I know I will make the most out of it, always look on the bright side and find a way to make it into the greatest adventure of my life.

But before I do that, I do have some legit adventuring to do. Paris, Austria, JE VIENS!

just keep swimming

With the last Wednesday down, I'm finally into the home stretch. Less than a week to go! Five days until Ricky gets here and six until the kids are off to Africa. I can't believe it's almost over, and I can't believe that I've made it this far. Compared to the past few days though, yesterday was a piece of cake. I really think that it's just one of those things where the kids act up in front of the parents to get attention, but nonetheless, it hurts! Yesterday morning, Thomas was being a total brat again, completely ignoring me when I asked him what kind of yogurt he wanted, etc. The second Christine walks out the door he's my best friend and oh "Gabrielle, look at me". I took them to sports, then to McDonalds. Christine met us there and then we all went to the swimming pool in Saint Tropez with Christine's best friend. It is a nice pool and I kind of wish that I had actually been going regularly since Christine pointed it out to me but it is way too hot and I wouldn't be able to swim laps in it anyways. I prefer the sea as it is. The kids had a swimming lesson with this really old guy. He was good with them and I could tell he's had a lot of experience (I mean come on the guy is like 50 and he's teaching swim lessons). But after they were finished with him I took over. I got Matthew to jump in without any flotation devices (I caught him of course) and I took him to the bottom a couple of times. Thomas is actually a really good swimmer although his kicks could use some work.

I wrote in my au pair letter that I would be willing to give swim lessons to the kids. I've talked about it with Christine and Nigel a couple times but they never followed up on it and Nigel doesn't want to turn on the pool heater or something. But after seeing me with the kids yesterday, Christine got really excited about it and wants me to give them a swim lesson on Saturday morning. She also wants me to perform a Synchronized Swimming routine on Sunday. Maybe as her Fete des Meres present? The pool is rather small for a synchro routine but I might try and put something together in the next couple days. I'm also working on making friendship bracelets for the kids and my friends and putting together the photo album for Christine and Nigel. I hope the pictures get here in time. Last time it took three weeks, but that is because I used the wrong address.

This week seems to be dragging by. All the hard things seem to be piling on top of each other and pulling me down. But despite feeling like the weight of Christine's world is on my shoulders (which I am sure is about 10 times heavier than the weight of my world with how much trash they produce every week), I just have to keep going like a wind up toy. When push comes to shove, I know I'll get through this. I just gotta keep swimming on through.

Randonee

Tom and I had been wanting to do this hike for quite a while. Basically just follow the back road all the way until you reach a small town called La Mole. According to Google Maps, it's 8.8km one direction and takes around an hour and 50 minutes to complete. What Google Maps doesn't tell you is that it's all uphill, and that when it is 30 degrees celcius with  hardly any wind and the trees are separated because the path is a long a ridge, it is very very tiring. However, Google Maps also doesn't tell you about the amazing view of the Gulf of Saint Tropez that you can see from that ridge. So it's all worth it. We actually didn't get to La Mole. We made it to about 8km, sat down on a rock and ate our lunch (sandwiches, crisps, apples, and snickers) and then turned around and went back and kicked it in the apartment until the football game started. I hung around for a bit after that and tried to pay attention, but I can't stand sport radio so I ended up coming back to the house a minute too late since Christine had just ordered the Chinese (which is actually Thai food). My dinner consisted of too-mushy white rice, strawberries, and 1/3 a baguette.

slimy, yet satisfying ;)

Retrouvé!

One month ago, the kids hid one of my gold Toms and one of Nigel's shoes in a toy box and put it on the terrace outside Matthew's room. Isabelle found them the next day while she was tidying. Later that evening though, I realized that I still only had one shoe. I didn't want to say anything to Christine because of the fuss that she had made over the shoes being gone in the first place, and secretly, I thought that maybe she hid it to "teach me a lesson". I asked the kids if they knew where they were, and they either responded with they didn't know or that they put them in the bin. I searched the house high and low for the rest of vacation and by the end I had given up hope and thought that maybe the kids really did throw them away.

But this evening, the kids were asking for all their toys that I hide on top of the large bureau in the living room when they are being naughty. One by one I stood on a step-stool and tiptoes to get them down. With two wolf-masks to go, I looked up and saw my shoe peeking two inches over the top edge. I was rather dazzled by it, as most people are the first time they see them, but after maybe ten seconds of gazing at them while being pummeled by Thomas and Matthew as they were demanding that I retrieve their wolf-masks, I finished clearing the top of the bureau and had my shoe back.

I still don't know how it got up there, and frankly I don't really care. I'm happy to have it back.

Cannes: le plus grand aventure

It is becoming a well-known fact that nothing ever goes smoothly with me. The Cannes Film Festival adventure was no exception, but bygollygeewhiz was it fun! Tom and I left the house just after 2pm (as planned) and picked up my new friend Nathalia on our way out of town. Miraculously, I finally found the "correct" route to Saint Raphael after the last few long-winded disastrous routes that I've taken and we got there in just over an hour. There was hardly any traffic because there was a storm fore casted and there was a bit of light rain on and off throughout the day. We met Luisa at our usual parking lot and walked to the Gare where we missed our train even though it was 10 minutes late and we had arrived in Saint Raphael half an hour early. We caught the 5pm train (TGV-- so cool! I can't wait for high speed rail in California!) and were on our way. The ride was so smooth except halfway through a rock came flying through the window of our car (not where we were seated thank goodness). It was really strange. I think it was just an accident but who knows.

We arrived in Cannes to more rain, but between Luisa being hungry, Nathalia's camera breaking, me realizing that we needed tickets for the movie on the beach (which we actually didn't need), we split up and got back together at least three times, but just in time for the sun to come out and the red carpet spectacle to begin. It was the premiere of the new Pirates movie so there were some really big celebrities there. Shame that we would never have gotten access in a million years. And to be honest, we didn't have a great spot (probably because we were so late getting there). I have a picture of the Penelope Cruz's back, that's it. After the red carpet, we sat on the beach wating for the Cinema de la Plage to be set up and eating sandwiches and ice cream. We took out the bottle of rose that I'd been saving for a couple weeks but of course, we didn't have a bottle opener. After asking like 5 ice cream places if they had one, we took it into a restaurant and asked them to open it for us-- easy fix.

I had been anticipating Le Cinema de la Plage since I started researching how to get into the film festival wayyy back before I even left the States. But watching the set up process was probably the most entertaining part. Small yet semi-muscular Frenchmen flinging chaise-lounges into fairly straight rows should be a spectator sport. Although I don't think I'd pay much to see it, it certainly does pass the time. The movie showing was a 1984 Italian Film called E La Nave Va (translation And the Ship Sails On). The film had French subtitles and therefore was a little hard to understand at times, if not because of the language, because of the plot. Luisa fell asleep, I definitely nodded off at points, but Tom and Nathalia managed to stay awake despite how bored they looked. The film was about this Celebrity cruiseliner that was celebrating the funeral of an adored star just before the start of WWI. At the beginning the characters were stand-offish and snobby. They didn't want to interact with characters who were not of the same social standing as they were and there was a huge scene when a seagull somehow managed to enter the dining room. But then a group of refugees comes aboard and while at first the guests seem offended by their presence they take time to learn their story and eventually become more accepting. They even ate outside with the newcomers and a seagull flew into the dining room again and they didn't care. Then there was something with a fire but at the same time, fireworks started going off. So I didn't catch the end of the movie. But the fireworks were seriously better than Disneyland and it is one of the things that will make Cannes so remarkably unforgettable in my mind.

After the film, we walked back to the train station to try and catch the last train but it had already left. For the others that was a much bigger deal than it was for me. But then again I had planned to stay out all night, even though I knew I wouldn't be able to last the entire time. We decided to make the most of it and walked around town looking for a bar. It was already after 1am though so a lot of places were closing already. We finally found something open and must have stayed there for a couple of hours. Everyone was tired, I was too stingy to pay entrance for a disco, and Nathalia had booked a hotel in Sophia-Antipolis, so instead of staying out all night as planned, we caught a taxi to the hotel. Luisa and Nathalia took the bed. Tom and I, opposite corners of the floor.


The next morning we got up and took the bus to the train station in Antibes and then the train back to Saint Raphael and home from there. On the way home Tom told me that "nothing is ever easy with [me]." He meant... Well I guess I don't really know what he meant. I know I can be impulsive and tend to do things without thinking them all the way through (even if I think I'm trying). But I don't think I'd have it any other way.

So misfired plans galore. It was still a blast and will forever be one of my favorite memories of France.

Football and Legumes

Two cognates that mean two different things in American English and French

• football: French- equivalent to soccer, American- American football
• legumes: French- vegetables, American- beans and other bean-like fruits 

Maybe those are differences between American English and the rest of the world. Because no one else calls football soccer and I had a really hard time explaining to the German girls what the difference was between a fruit and a vegetable. They refused to believe me that tomatoes are fruits but later they looked it up on Wikipedia and saw that I was right.

Last week, a bunch of au pairs from the Facebook group posted that they were going to play football and asked if anyone wanted to join. At first I wasn't sure if I should bother. They are all Saint-Tropez au pairs and therefore I thought that they would all be on the Yasmin-Julia-Pia side of things (that I never tried to fix because everyone told me it was basically pointless since they had made up their minds about me already, tant pis). But after some quiet deliberation, I decided that football is soccer and an hour or two of soccer, even if there were to be some hostility, would be worth it. In the end it turned out that there was another au pair from Cogolin. Her name is Nathalia and she is from Brazil! I gave her a ride to the game because she can only use her car to pick up her girl from school and now we are really good friends. She is so cool and practical and down to earth. She's a bit older than me too, so she kind of feels like an older sister. Anyways, not only did I make a friend in Cogolin (miracle's happen), but all the other au pairs were pretty cool too. None of us were in really great shape to play football even though a few of us claimed to do sport here (me included). So we played for about 40 minutes called half time and then laid around on the turf and the asphalt for another half hour.

Christine is starting a garden on the side of the house and so today, the kids and I helped her plant some things. We got pretty much everything in I think-- cherry tomatoes, strawberries, 3 types of lettuce, and some kind of yellow flower. It was fun, although it was quite hot outside and Thomas was being a bit of a monster. Matthew said he was hungry so we ate lunch early. As a result I got off a bit early and was able to get some freetime in to make sure everything is ready for Cannes! I'm so excited to go; I feel like I've been waiting for this forever. GP- drive to Saint-Raphael, meet Luisa, 4pm train, arrive at 5pm, eat, watch movie on the beach, and party time until 6am when the first train goes back to Saint-Raphael. I can just tell it's going to be great.

Easy Come, Easy Go

This Wednesday must have been the easiest Wednesday that I’ve had here yet. Usually, easy would not describe a day where Thomas and Matthew wake up fighting, but Christine finally got wise and decided to separate them, taking Thomas to the store and leaving Matthew with me. When they returned, the kids were just easy the rest of the day; easily distracted by walks and games of red light green light, songs in the bath and writing stories about tractors.

But today, Wednesday seems like it was ages ago. As always, Wednesdays are followed by Thursdays (or at least that’s what Rebecca Black tells me), and this Thursday in particular, was not so easy. Christine left me a huge list of things to do. It might have not been so bad if I hadn’t made plans to go to the beach with Luisa already (which I had to cancel), or if I could read Christine’s handwriting. I was halfway through deep-cleaning Thomas and Matthew’s rooms when I realized she wanted me to clean their chaussures and not their chambres, and I spent 20 minutes in front of the beef section at Leclerc trying to figure out what kind of beef she wanted me to get before I realized that she wanted 6 oeufs and not boeuf. And then the whole culture/language barrier, even the one between me and Nigel, would have helped had it not existed, because apparently in this house, corn flakes=any cereal that is not corn flakes.

[Translated conversation]
Christine: Is this the box of cereal you bought today?
Me: Yes
Christine: why did you buy this cereal?
Me: Because you told me to get corn flakes and those are corn flakes
Christine: *pulls miel pops boxtop label off of counter that I thought was for boxtops* you were supposed to buy these, I already have 3 boxes of those.
Me: sorry, I didn’t realize you wanted me to get those because you asked for corn flakes and those are miel pops
Christine: no they’re corn flakes
Me: ok, sorry

I suppose boxtops is an American thing.

But this morning, was just the thing to top it all off. After four months, I have finally started to settle into a morning routine. Get up at 6:45, start the kettle if no one else has, fix Matthew’s bottle, fix orange juice (which I don’t do anymore because the juicer and juice glasses disappeared Wednesday and Christine stopped buying oranges), put the dishes away, give Matthew his bottle (followed by a “Mechante, Gabrielle”), give Thomas his yogurt if he doesn’t have it already (“tu m’enerve” or “laisse-moi tranquille”), make sure the shoes for the day are out, go hide in my room for ten minutes because the kids will throw a fit if I sit down and watch TV with them and I don’t like their shows anyways, after Thomas is dressed I bring him his vitamins, make sure they have their shoes and sweaters on, take their pajamas upstairs and fold towels so that everything is ready for the bath in the evening, and then I’m done. So I got up, ready to take on the morning as a fresh start as always, despite only getting 4 hours of sleep last night. At that point, to my knowledge I had done everything perfectly- everything’s fixed, kids have their food. But after five minutes Thomas hasn’t touched his yogurt and he’s just holding it in his hand staring at the TV. I give him a gentle reminder that he needs to eat. He looks down at the yogurt container and says he doesn’t want it. Christine comes over, sees the yogurt container, and flips out.

Christine: Gabriella, you have been here four months and every day I still have to tell you what to do. You should know all these things by now. You do the same thing every day, what were you thinking?
Me: Does he not like raspberry yogurt?
Christine: No, he’s never liked it. You have to think before you do things like this. Everyday it’s the same thing. It’s not hard
Me: I just didn’t know—
Christine: It’s not about what you know. You just have to think. You’ve been here four months you should know by now.

For reference, the yogurt shelf in the refrigerator is organized into 4 sections, Matthew’s yogurt, Nigel’s yogurt, Christine’s desserts, and Thomas’ yogurt. Every morning I just take the yogurt from Thomas’ section. I guess I’ve never given him a raspberry one before and it’s true I’ve never thought about it. What is the point of having sectioned yogurt, if the kid doesn’t like the yogurt in his section?

There is just so much to remember, all for the sake of trying to make Christine and Nigel’s lives easier but for some reason it all just seems to make their lives harder. I couldn’t stand to live like this for the rest of my life—always in a panic, every second is like a heart attack, the next two weeks will be hard enough. :P

At least there is some beauty to this place.

To Grasse, and back

Today was one of those days where after a week of needing to get away from yourself, you finally attempt to do so. Lusia and I had poorly poorly poorly planned to go to Grasse today. Ok, maybe it was me who did the horrible planning (as always). Last night I told her it probably wasn't worth the trip today since she had to be back by 5pm, and then this morning, at 9:45 I decided we should go anyways, sent her a quick facebook message telling her to meet me at our usual meeting spot at 11, and then walked out the door. Looking back, I realize that wasn't the brightest idea and I should probably be put in a straight jacket, but I know that if I hadn't gotten myself out of bed and gone through with this outrageous plot, I probably would be in a straight jacket by the time Ricky gets here. So, I drove to Saint Raphael. And as always, the traffic was horrible and I ended up taking a completely different road once I got to Frejus and so of course I got lost. And it was 11:30 by the time I got to the parking only to find that the entire lot was blocked because of a fair/market type thing. Stuff like this always happens with me and Luisa and we always end up finding each other somehow. We seriously have like this weird brain connection. So I went ahead and parked in Port Santa Lucia and called Luisa, no answer. I waited until 12, still didn't hear back. Realized she probably didn't get my message and probably didn't think the trip was worth it either and in the end I made the decision to continue on my own. I chose the N7 over the A8 because I can't be bothered with toll roads and headed for Grasse. After about ten more minutes of driving I got sick of the radio and all the CDs I had in the car and just started singing any song that came to mind. An hour later I arrived in Grasse, where I visited 2 Parfumeries before I realized that I don't like perfume. So I hopped back in the car, hands reeking of at least 10 different scents, grabbed a large coke at McDonalds and started driving back when I saw signs  for Cannes. I really don't know where my head was at when I woke up this morning, but I most definitely did not have it in the car with me. I suppose that was what I had wanted to accomplish. So I just drove basically. Cannes is nice. The beaches were packed and there was so much work being done to get ready for the Film Festival (starts Wednesday, 11 May). At some point or another I'd had enough and started the 2 hour drive back to Cogolin still singing whatever popped in my head. By the time I got back I had been driving for 6 hours and all I had to show was an empty cup of coke and a broken tail light (I backed into a low concrete block pulling out of Port Santa Lucia) and sticky smelly hands. I wasn't ready to go back to the house because I've been avoiding Christine and Nigel because I think they really hate me and I don't really blame them so I pulled in at the apartment and fell asleep in a plastic chair for an hour! If Tom saw me he probably thinks I'm a total nut, but I suppose I am so it doesn't really matter.

After a day of escaping myself, now I have to look in the mirror and actually deal with the fact that I will be home in a month. As much as I don't really want to stay here. I'm not ready to go back. All I want is to keep moving forward.

four months

Overall, the past week or so has been terrible mental/physical health-wise. I am sick, yet again (fourth time since I've been in Cogolin). Dealing with the stresses of feeling like an inadequate au pair and the added pressures of making plans for university and/or the rest of my life is only adding to my sinus headache, lack of desire to get out of bed at 6:45 every morning despite the fact that I can't sleep past 6am, and inability to think straight. Amazingly enough, I managed to scrape through today with Christine only catching one of the 3,524 mistakes that I made. I forgot to close Matthew's window in my car and the dogs somehow managed to jump inside. Other large mistakes that were not noticed include, not shutting the garage door (that was on purpose though because I thought the plumber was coming), not putting the laundry in the dryer until 2:30pm (and therefore not folding it until I got home with the kids and putting it away while giving the kids their baths), forgetting the belts for judo (luckily the teacher had extras), and eating the Chinese food (that was supposed to be Nigel's dinner) for lunch. It felt like there were a lot more. On top of everything, I can't settle on an itinerary for when Ricky comes. The train passes are so expensive and I can't decide what the best way to minimize the cost of transportation would be. It's just one more thing to stress me out and I don't want to think about it anymore. But with just under four weeks left, it's definitely something that I need to focus on. You know in addition to figuring out what I'm doing over the summer and next fall and spring and forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

There is another giant spider in my room but I think I'm going to let this one live.

easy crepes

400g flour
4 eggs
1L milk
pinch of salt
vegetable oil
and a whole lot of patience

Thoroughly mix flour, eggs, milk and salt so that there are no lumps. Pour a little bit of vegetable oil into a frying pan and heat it up on the stove. Using a ladle, put a little less than a ladle-full of batter into the pan. Turn the pan so that the batter spreads out evenly. While you are waiting for it to cook, it's alright to poke at the crepe a little bit with a fork or other utensil to see if it's ready to flip yet, but this is where the patience comes in. Don't be too aggressive with it otherwise it will tear or break. When it is ready, the crepe should come up easily. You can flip it over with a spatula or if you've got some killer sautee-ing skills you can try throwing it. If you are going to try the latter it's probably a good idea to wear an apron. Actually, it is probably a good idea to wear an apron whenever you are cooking especially if you are cooking with oils or fats or batter or anything sticky. Plus aprons are cute and will make you feel more confident (partially because you know your clothes are safe and partially because you'll look good-- or at least like a 1960's housewife, which is always fun for a couple hours at a time).

This was my first time ever making crepes! A little late in my sejour or so I should think, but at least I finally learned how and now have another (actual French) dish to add to the homecoming party menu. Christine told me not to worry if they weren't perfect, because the first time never is. The first one actually turned out alright though. And then the next four came out like dish rags (too impatient). And then the rest came out fairly well, with the exception of one that split right down the middle? Right down the middle. Also, the more batter you use the thicker they are. Christine usually makes them on the thicker side. Mine started out thick but after the four flops, I needed to stretch the batter a little more and started making them thinner. I ended up with I think 13 (not including the mess-ups).

It's so weird to think that I'll be home in 6 weeks from today. The kids are being a little better. It's off and on. I'm sick again so I can't yell and I've got a terrible headache. I bought more medicine at the pharmacy yesterday and the new Vogue Paris which came with a cool little Vogue notebook. Tomorrow I'm meeting a new au pair. I think I've seen her picking up the kids from school the past couple days but I'm so busy chasing after Thomas and Matthew and I don't have the nerve to go up to her just yet, haha. She's Austrian and dresses really well.

I've probably got another half hour before the kids are home from sports. Petit dodo? Don't mind if I do.

End of Vacation

Finally, the Spring Holidays are over! While the Thomas and Matthew were really bright and cheery the first week, the second they went back to being the little monsters that they really are. Thomas has been in a grouchy mood ever since Christine's parents got here on Good Friday. I think they are the kind of people that are only tolerable in small doses. After five days with them, I was just dying for them to leave. I feel like I understand Christine a little more now. I feel bad for agreeing with her mom (when we first met), that Christine didn't have the best parenting skills. It is now obvious to me why. Her parents were even worse! It seems to me that Christine is trying to not be like her parents, but the apple never falls too far from the tree. I now realize that it's not that she's a bad parent, she just does what works for her... which is nothing. I don't blame her; these kids are such a handful. It's too bad I totally fell in love with them the first week of vacation, and now I don't know what I did wrong to make them hate me again or how to fix it and I just feel totally awful and out of control and Nigel keeps saying I need to watch them better and I'm doing the best I can but when one kid says Gabrielle will you help me pull out some of this crab grass and the other kid says I'm going to get some sand from the sand box and then all of a sudden daddy's truck is roaring round the bend and they're running off after it through the brush that is too low for me to go under... If you're going to raise kids on 15 hectares of land, you need to give them a little more freedom. Dogs too. I hope the kids ease up on me a little bit otherwise the next month is still going to be hell, with a piece of heaven here and there. I've tried looking up things to get them to stop acting like this (hitting, kicking, etc). But at this stage (ages 4 and 5), it's gone on way too long, and I'd really need a united effort and thorough understanding from Christine and Nigel (which I don't have). They are just too used to getting what they want if they put up a fuss. And Christine always says  not to let them do that, but she doesn't offer any solutions other than hitting them back (which I absolutely refuse to do because not only do I not want to hurt them but it just reaffirms their behavior by letting them know it is OK to hit someone when they do something you don't like). If I do figure out a solution in the next month I'll be sure to make a huge deal about it. However, chances of that happening are slim to none. Discipline is a process not an event.

Anyways, it looks like the end of vacation is the end of a lot of things and the start of even more. Three au pairs have been/are being sent home right now including Kathy, who left last week right after our totally fabulous weekend. I miss her. But Luisa is finally back from Germany! (I'm so happy to have her here), the semester is almost over with my online classes. And Ricky will be here in a month! I'm starting a new exercise regimen (running on the boardwalk/swimming in the sea) and I'm tracking what I'm eating with this diet analysis thing from my Nutrition class.  Time is going by so quickly and I've got so many plans in the works. Next weekend we are finally going to Grasse to make perfume. No matter what, it has to happen next weekend because the two weekends after that are the Cannes Film Festival! and then I've only got one weekend left to plan still but I'm thinking it will just be a party weekend since it will be my last one and then I'm off to Barcelona, Paris, Venice, Rome, Florence, Pisa, and Monaco! Also, now that Vacation is over I'll have more time to write again! Hoorah!

Also, woke up this morning to the news of bin Laden being dead. Christine gave me a high five. It was an awkward moment. But after nearly ten years, I suppose some sort of celebratory gesture is required. Funny thing, when the "special report" came on, the kids thought it was the weather. It just reminded me of how when I woke up on 9/11 all I wanted to do was see the weather for today and I didn't understand the significance of the bombings until much later. I kind of feel the same way now, but I suppose it's hard to foresee the real effect that something will have on the world or your life until after it's already over.

How to properly de-shell a prawn on Easter Sunday

There are few things in life that really make my stomach churn-- not roller coasters, not blood, not even escargots (though I really don't like escargots). One thing that I really can't take though apparently, is pulling off the head of a prawn and watching all it's insides drip out onto my plate.

To be honest, I didn't even know I ordered prawns. Wild Gambas, I guess, is giant prawn.  I suppose that would be a lesson to not order something if you don't know what it is, especially if it costs 18euro. But I really didn't want anything else on the menu and it actually looked quite delicious at the beginning. Now, just thinking about the word prawn is making me a little queezy. Amazingly enough, I did manage to eat the entire plate which was rather large for French portions. The service at the restaurant was terrible though. They gave us the wrong check and when I went to tell them it was the wrong one, they told me to wait and then helped people who just randomly walked up. The waiter apologized but he didn't even look at me. I suppose that is quite French; customer service isn't exactly a priority. That said, they're lucky that tipping is not a French custom, if I was in the States and that happened, I definitely would not have left one.

So I actually still don't know how to properly de-shell a prawn. I looked it up online and apparently I did it right. I suppose that means I have some amount of common sense, surprise. But I probably should just not order shellfish unless I know they'll have been beheaded already.

------------------------------

This past week has been the first week of the Spring Holidays. I was really nervous at first; the thought of spending all my time with the two little horrors was actually another thing that made my stomach flip over a bit. But from the first day, they were actually really wonderful. Everyday this week has been marvelous. We've been going on walks and picnics and playing red light, green light and making pretzels and going to amusement parks and they have been so sweet. Always saying please and thank you, telling me that they like me and that I'm their friend, and hardly fighting even with each other. I don't know what brought on this change but I like it. I hope it stays like this forever.

Easter Sunday was yesterday, but the kids had their easter egg hunt this morning for some reason. They got so much chocolate! And Matthew doesn't like chocolate, so when they finished he poured his entire basket into Thomas'. Thomas has promised to share with me, and by share he means give me all the chocolate he doesn't like (which was actually a significant amount). My unrefined american tongue says chocolate is chocolate. I actually can tell the difference between the quality (French/European chocolate just has more substance), but I will eat pretty much anything chocolate as long as it doesn't have almonds in it or isn't more than 70% cacao.

One more week of holidays to go and then I've only a month left! Christine's parents are here right now. They arrived on Saturday evening and will be staying through Tuesday or Wednesday. I don't remember why I liked them the first time I met them, because they've only been here two days and they're really annoying me. Oh well, they're harmless I'm sure. Off to bed after a superdeeduper weekend :) Bisous

it could always be worse

"You're too laid back and the kids don't like you. If you don't shape up we're going to have to get rid of you. The au pair is supposed to make the parents life easier and with Beke and Lotte it was easier. You just make everything difficult. So get it together or you'll be going home early," Nigel warned me Thursday morning. It's safe to say I've been in a right state ever since. I spent most of Thursday morning crying my eyes out and since then I've just been trying to be perfect.

But over the past few days, I've come to realize that there isn't really anything I can do about it. I am laid back. I like to think it's part of my charm. I have endless amounts of patience that are only tested when there's a time limit on how long something should take or when I'm getting beaten to death by a 4-year-old. I'm not a yeller or a hitter or a fighter by nature and it really takes a lot to bring out that side of me.

So I've more or less just started being myself and not worrying about whether or not the kids like me or whether I'm doing everything absolutely perfectly. They're either happy with me or they're not. If they want to get rid of me then they'll get rid of me and I will figure something else out. Because that's the only thing I can do at this point. However, sitting, waiting, wishing for things to get better isn't my way either. I'm still committed to giving this my all, or as much as I have left of it for as long as I am here.

three months

So it’s officially been three months, which means I can start counting down without feeling like it’s gonna be forever until I’m home. 7 weeks ‘til Ricky gets here, 8 weeks until we embark on our grand adventures (Barcelona, Pisa, Florence, Rome, Venice, and Paris) and 10 weeks until I’m back in my bed with Coco cat. I’m already thinking about what I’m going to miss—my new friends, the beaches, walking around Saint Tropez, visiting a new town every weekend, driving stick with that barefootwhilecoveredinsandmylooooooonghairdowngoingwildwiththewindowsdownsunsinkinginraybansonsinginginfrenchwiththeradioskinthecolorofaspankinnewcopperpennyinapril feeling, knowing that I can buy alcohol at the grocery store even though I never do, the fragrances of the Riviera (fresh bread at the boulangerie, lavender and mimosa, the Mediterranean), meeting people from other countries, learning German, helpful French people who don’t make you feel like a complete idiot, going to the market, eating glace at the port, watching the yachts, all the weird looking bugs, Vogue Paris for 5 euro (at home it’s 16$), swimming in the Mediterranean (it’s so different from the Pacific!), running and biking through the country and along the coast, bisou greetings and goodbyes, the hilarity of watching giant groups of teenagers greet each other(bisous pour tout le monde!), forgetting to speak English after 2 glasses of Rose, and the like. And the things I’m not going to miss: French animals (cats and dogs), French children, American tv shows and movies dubbed in French, McDo, Wednesdays, my French cell phone, mean French people, snobby French people, ignorant French people, racism, homophobia, French hypocrisy, not being able to watch certain videos online because they are not available in my area, when people burn things for no apparent reason, pollution, people who smoke, smelling like smoke for days after going out even though I didn’t smoke and took like three showers, getting sick after going out, annoying men, walking past ritzy shops and feeling incredibly uncool, days when I wake up and can’t speak a word of French, thinking in celcius/farenheit and euro/dollar ratios, supermarches (hypermarche or regular marche is the way to go), the scary looking bugs, French accented english, etc. See why my love/hate relationship with this country is so complicated?

Today was another Wednesday and a relatively good one at that, especially compared with last week. I had the kids in the morning while Christine did the grocery shopping. They spent the entire time putting me in “prison”, torturing me and trying to “electrocute” me with candles. They were amused at least. I went to sports with the boys and walked around Saint Tropez (comme d’habitude) while I waited for them to be finished. McDonalds for lunch and when we got home, Nigel had taken the pool cover off of the pool! We spent the rest of the day playing outside. Baths were pretty easy and Matthew still wanted to play with me afterwards!

Tomorrow, Nigel’s sister and nephew are coming. The nephew is 18 and is also named Thomas. I asked Christine why both Nigel and his sister named their kids Thomas. She said that she didn’t know Nigel’s sister at the time and Nigel didn’t even think about it. Apparently Nigel’s mother isn’t happy about it. Nigel’s nephew is staying for 6 months and he is going to be working with Nigel’s pool and garden company. I think it will be cool to have a guy friend to hang out with (if he wants to of course). The other au pairs seem to think so too. Beke had been telling them about it since before I even got here so it’s been a long time coming. I’ll of course only be here for another couple months, so they’ll have to figure out how to keep him around once I’m gone.

In the mean time, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. It’s Saint Tropez, it’s almost summer, and while I can’t wait to get home, I’m focusing on making these next 7 weeks count.

Bisous

better things

Nothing is more frustrating than trying your best and still feeling completely incompetent.

Last Wednesday was a bit of a wake up call for me. By far, it was one of the worst days I've had in France. Second only to my last day in Trans. The kids were totally out of control and I put my priorities on cleaning up after them instead of actually watching them. Actually the day started out alright. We started setting up for a spectacle before going to Sports. Everything went downhill from there. Thomas broke his shoe, a semi-truck backed into me in the middle of Saint Tropez, I got a migraine, Thomas threw a tantrum because he didn't want ravioli for lunch, while I was cleaning up from lunch, the kids threw the entire contents of the living room behind the sofa, while I had been making lunch, Matthew put all the things from the spectacle in the shower and when I started cleaning up the living room, he turned the shower on, drenching all of his toys and soaking through almost every rug in the house. Then Christine came home and was very upset (who wouldn't be? the house was a disaster). She left again and I was stuck with my migraine, still cleaning up, trying to make sure the boys didn't tear anything else apart.

Since then, I've been trying my absolute hardest to be the best au pair ever. The only thing is, everyday something happens that confirms my belief that I am quite possibly the worst au pair ever. I know that it's probably not true, and I just take everything the boys and Christine say and do wayyyyy too personally, but it's hard. Back in the states, I'm so used to every child I work with whether it's at the pool, in child care, or babysitting practically worshiping the ground I walk on. They do whatever I say, they always are excited to see me and love to involve me in whatever they are doing. Here, it's the exact opposite. Maxime and Alexis were a little easier than Thomas and Matthew, but they still didn't really buy into me I think and it was really hard for me to be the doting compassionate creative loving child-watcher person that I usually am. Thomas and Matthew on the other hand are the worst. I could never have imagined kids to be like this, especially based on my previous experiences with kids (lifeguarding, swim lessons, child care, babysitting). They only want to involve me in something if it involves "killing" me or "making me fall asleep", but they spend most of the time just telling me how mean I am and how they hate me and I'm bothering them.

I swear if it wasn't for the location, I would have probably given up on this by now. Remember when I said that God needed to give me some sort of sign that there was a more heavenly place than here? Well he did, but it's right next door. Isabelle, the cleaning lady mentioned Cavalaire sur Mer in passing on Friday and I automatically said that I would check it out that day. Well I did, and after a few wrong turns that allowed me to really see the town in all it's beach-to-hills glory I can't imagine a more perfect place in the world. Cavalaire is located at the southern most point of the Riviera and has a beach that is 3km long! Since I've visited nearly all the beaches in the Saint Tropez area now, I feel quite confident in saying Cavalaire is the best of them all. Looking forward to more frequent trips there over the next couple months.

The other thing that is making this all worthwhile is my new friends! Luisa of course, and last weekend I met Kathy, an austrian au pair living in Les Isambres (a halfway point between Saint Tropez and Saint Raphael). At first she seemed a little hesitant to meet me. I think because some of the other au pairs have been saying stuff about me. But she warmed up right away and now she, Luisa, and I are really good friends even after only knowing each other for a weekend. We didn't even really do much to be honest. We met at the beach but it was way too windy to go swimming or even just sit. We made dinner at Luisa's place since her family was out of town for the weekend. Afterwards we went out to Port Santa Lucia and sat on the port for "pre-drinking". We ended up sitting there for four hours with our vodka and orange juice and rose. Then we got up and walked at least a kilometer to Saint Raphael where we tried to get in the ONLY discotheque without having to pay entrance. I dazzled the bouncers but the lady inside wouldn't budge. Tant pis pour nous. We ended up catching a taxi back to Luisa's.

I think with all the stresses of being an au pair it's important to connect with the others and create these bonds. It provides a healthy outlet and a good way to know if what is going on in your family is "normal". However, it seems that every au pair has her own woes and complaints about their families. You just have to get really lucky to get a family that you like the first time around or even at all. At least we have each other though.

At the end of the day it's not where you are it's who you're with. And even though this place is absolutely magical, if it weren't for these girls and the support I get from everyone back home, I don't know what I would do.

Language School #2

After a month of trying to get into classes at the language school in Cogolin, I finally did it. As stressful as the process has been I have to say that it is definitely not worth the 20 euros a session that I have to pay to go and therefore I'm not sure how long I will keep it up as that drastically cuts into either the spending money I have for weekend fun or the money that I am saving for when Ricky gets here so that we can really see Europe before returning to the States.
Sigma Formation, as this school is called, is actually more of a post-lycee training center. Kind of like community college. They offer a bunch of different classes, including a French language class for foreigners (me). This class is much more diverse than the class in Draguignan. There are a few Asian women and Muslim women, a couple Tunisian gents, two Brits and three other Americans. Yasmin and Julia (the British and German au pairs) also apparently go on Tuesday but they were not there today.
Today I took care of the usual bureaucratic stuff- filling out forms and taking the placement test. The maitresse seemed impressed with my results but again, I am back to starting with passe compose. While it is something that gets me out of the house, I'd rather go to the beach and translate magazine articles. Or sit at home and translate magazine articles. At least that is free. But I said I'd be back next week, so we'll see how it goes. Christine even said this morning that it's not important if I go or not. I really just needed to get the letter from the school for my dossier.
This past weekend, le meteo had forcasted rain all week but that cleared up right away Monday morning. It's been a little foggy still and super dark when I get up, especially with daylight savings time (in France DST started this past Sunday). The bright weather should be sticking around through the end of the weekend which will be wonderful for the activities I have planned ;)

Luisa's birthday

Yet another March 25 birthday girl- Luisa! When she first told me last week, Luisa was planning on doing something Friday night, which doesn't work for me since I have to work Saturday morning and there's no way I would want to drive an hour there and back especially after a night out, not to mention, I'm low on euros since it's the end of the month. But, later in the week, we decided that we could do something Friday morning instead.

After the kids left for school, I had a quick chat with the lovely Ricky Johnston, wrote the cleaning lady a note, and headed off to Saint Aygulf Plage to meet Luisa. We spent a nice morning on the beach, looking at shells and taking jump shots with my camera and then sat down at a beach side restaurant for lunch. Miraculously enough, the menu had really good prices on salads; I got the Salade Paysanne for 4,50 euro and it was delicious! Afterwards, we walked to the market on the other side of town and walked around a bit. We saw some really cute rompers but I didn't have enough money and Luisa didn't want to buy without trying it on, something that is not so easy to do at an open air market. So we hopped across the street to an Italian cafe for some gelato and called it a day.

I wish I could have spent more time since it was her birthday. But we were both a little tired from the sun, and I had to get back to get the kids from school. Still it was a very good day, and next weekend (after I get paid) we are going to Grasse to make perfume! More adventures to come!

Le Cirque

Apparently circuses are really big in France, there have been two here in Cogolin since I arrived and of course, I've been to both of them. Granted, they are rather small in scale, nothing compared to Wringling Bros. But I don't like Wringling Bros. anyways because they are terrible to their animals. These small traveling circuses seem to be very nice to the animals but I still feel bad that they have to stay cooped up a lot of the time. This circus that we went to this past week was the better of the two that I've been to here.
The first one, I went to with Beke and the boys when they were on vacation in February. That one was so tiny, they seriously had two rows of seats, 2 acrobats, a juggler, a goat, two llamas, 3 horses, and 2 clowns. I actually ended up falling asleep at one point.
This last one though, had two separate acrobatic groups, one from Eastern Europe and the other from Cuba, a martial arts group, several solo and duet acrobats, a juggler, and lots and lots of animals (which were of course the best part).

 I always wonder what it would be like to be in a circus. I remember there was a show about clown school or something on Disney Channel for a while, but I never watched it. It seems like such a wayward idea. One that you just wake up and go with one day and then after that there is no looking back. I wonder if these circuses are at all associated with the travelling gypsy groups who, rumor has it, are the most awful trashy sort of people you could ever set eyes upon. After everything I've heard from Nigel and the other au pairs, I'm actually really terrified of them. From squatting to stealing, they are invasive like the most stubborn of weeds, and if you try to do anything to stop them they attack you. The week I arrived in Cogolin, one of the other au pairs' houses got broken into by a gypsy band and they stole her host mom's jewelry which was valued at about 50,000 euros. The really scary thing is they entered through a locked door without breaking it or making much noise and they walked through the entire house, including all the bedrooms where the au pair and the rest of the family were sleeping. I enjoy waking up with the sun shining in through my window, but I am so scared of these gypsy bands that I always close my shutters at night, and open them again when I wake up in the morning. I've also been locking the door from my room to the rest of the house at night which serves two purposes, 1) the kids don't wake me up in the morning (even though I'm always up before they are anyways) and 2) it provides one more barrier between my room and the rest of the house if someone were to break in. It's unfortunate that that is the reality of the gypsy caravans. I remember when I was younger I always thought the idea of gypsies was so cool. Like Esmeralda from the Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney version of course), and the book Cinnamon, which was always one of my favorites. I remember thinking that I was like Cinnamon, the gypsy girl, and Sophie was like the princess girl. Now that I know the truth though, looking back the prejudices explored in those childhood memories stand out more (how both Esmeralda and Cinnamon were considered outcasts by the greater of society), and now I know where they come from. Fear, like all prejudices right? Personally, I think the French are a bit over the top with all their prejudices and phobias and superstitions and overall day to day behavior. They seem to think it's all justified, but as anyone "of color" will tell you, the racism in France is horrendous. Beke told me a story about how once the au pairs almost didn't get into a club, she thinks because they had the Spanish black au pair with them. But it's really like that everywhere here. As I am not a person of color, I don't experience it. But with my Moorish-Spanish background, I find myself worrying about getting labelled as an Arab almost as much as I worry about getting labelled as an American. I know that's totally silly, and even a bit racist in itself, not to mention something I really don't need to worry about as more and more people tell me that I dress European and my face looks "Latin". But apparently everyone here thinks that all Americans are blond-haired and blue eyed. I'm always explaining how there are people of all types in America and how we eat foods of all types too.
One thing that I'm a little disappointed about right now is that I feel so uninformed about the war in Libya right now, even though I'm practically on the front lines. Granted, I wasn't at home at all the day the war became official and I only found out about it via facebook. For a while I thought that maybe it's because there aren't as many immigrants in Saint Tropez because it's too ritzy, so somehow that makes it less of a big deal here (everyone I talk to except for Nigel and Christine seems uninformed as well). But Nigel was also telling me the other day that it's normal for the French to respond slowly to things like this. Even though war was declared over a week ago, French troops were just deployed a few days ago.
Frustrating as these times are, it only increases the need for human interaction, crossing borders, boundaries and barriers of all kinds. I like to think that what I'm doing here is just the beginning of that for me. Now that University decisions are rolling in, I'm starting to think farther and farther ahead. I got into Tulane (again) and this time around I'm thinking it could be the One. We'll see.
Gros bisous X

Aix, "like eggs?"

This adventure started out as a mission to get out of the rain. After just three days of sunshine, the rain was out to spoil the rest of our weekend, but Luisa and I weren't having it. The night before, just as we were leaving Brasserie des Arts (a usual stopping point on les soirees Saint Tropez that I am convinced that I am allergic to because every time we go there I am deathly ill for a week) it started to pour. The other girls who were with us opted to go home, but Luisa and I decided to walk around looking for another club. We stopped at Chez Maggy for a bit but the night was just too quiet. I suppose once the weather starts warming up, les Tropeziens get kind of Californian in that they don't go out when it's raining. We ended up standing under a shop overhang for 20 minutes until the rain stopped and headed back to the car.
The next morning, the clouds hadn't cleared and there was no way I was going to spend another weekend walking around in the rain. So while Luisa slept, I looked at the weather in the rest of Southern France. The Rain appeared to fade out around Marseille, but since even then I was running short on money and everyone says the only good thing about Marseille is shopping, that was out.
For ages, people have been raving about Aix-en-Provence. It is a big university town (Christine actually went to school there) and the former home of the artist Cezanne. By the time Luisa woke up, I already had our day planned-- we were going to see the Atelier Cezanne (the artist's studio that has been converted into a museum but remains exactly how he left it when he died in 19__), wander around a bit, grab a bite to eat before returning home. Considering that usually, my plans always never go the way I think they are going to, the day actually went pretty smoothly. We did hit a few speed bumps, like when I realized I was almost out of gas but on Sundays you can only get gas if you have a carte bancaire, and when we did get to Aix and finally decided it was time to eat, almost everything was closed because lunch hours were over, but Luisa and I make a really good team and we worked our way around every obstacle. The gas situation for instance was solved by asking a man to let us use his card to buy gas (I paid him in cash of course). And for our extremely late lunch, we ended up going to this boulangerie (pictured below)  where we each got a calzonne, a muffin, and a coke for 7,90 euro.
I love the confidence and energy that is required of me on these outings because of the pickles we get ourselves into. It's wonderful practice for not only my language skills but also for just dealing with problems that arise in everyday life. If I can get myself out of some of these situations in a foreign language, surely I can handle anything that will come my way once I get back to the states. Anyways, here's some pictures from Aix.  I love and miss you all!

Atelier Cezanne-- pictures weren't allowed inside :(

fever

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I was stuck home with the boys because they apparently had a fever. 98.6 F is 37 C but in celcius, temperature is normal up to 37.3. Well the boys both had fevers of 37.4 and therefore couldn't go to school or sport and had to stay home. However, I'm sure a 40 degree fever (104 F) couldn't make these kids stay still much less a 37.4. The amount of destruction they cause is immeasurable. Maybe it's just because they are boys or because they are French (other au pairs seem to agree that French kids are the absolute worst), or because they are French boys but they are just little 110 and 120cm torpedoes that bounce off the walls for hours on end wrecking everything in their path including each other. And of course if one accidentally steps on the others foot (literally and figuratively), that is an automatic excuse to pound the other to smitherines. But honestly I think the worst things they did over the past few days were a) disconnecting the English tele and b)disconnecting the internet. Nigel had to call Sky in order to fix the television, and although most of the time I was able to fix the internet with a few clicks of the mouse, the last time, Wednesday morning, I was not able to do so et alors, the kids couldn't watch their trains on the computer the rest of the day and I didn't have internet until this morning after fiddling around with it for another half hour. I think they finally got that they aren't to touch the livebox after a whole day without the train, camion, and pompier youtube videos that they adore so much. That was actually really unfortunate for me too because it is one activity that keeps them quiet.

Anyways, they were finally able to go back to school today and it finally stopped raining. So I had quite a lovely day to myself. After fixing the internet, I went for a short jog and then spent the rest of the day reading outside and trying to do laundry. Christine actually just knocked on my door about ten minutes ago and told me the laundry machine is broken, which would explain why I had so much trouble today. Luckily they have two, I just can't figure out how to use the other one.

Today is Nigel's birthday and we had what I would consider a nice celebration. Christine and the boys made a cake when they got home from school and then after baths we did presents. He got a shovel, a garden hose, two pencils, a pair of garden shears, and a massage chair. We had steak and asparagus for dinner and Christine made a comment about how I don't eat the flower part. I always seem to do things a little differently than she does. Part of it is the culture, but I think it's also just us. We are both set in our own ways, although I am always trying to adapt, it never occurs to me to do things differently until someone says something about it. But considering that I never even ate asparagus until I got here, I think I can get away with not eating the flowers. Of course after she said that you are supposed to start with the flower, I tried it and from now on I will eat the whole asparagus.

Also today, the boys both came down with ear infections. Christine is taking them to the doctor in the morning, but I sincerely hope that I will not have to watch them again in the afternoon. Tomorrow is going to be the start of an absolutely gorgeous weekend in the greater Saint Tropez area and I was looking forward to spending the day at the beach. Plus there is plenty of thing that I didn't get to do this week because I was home with the kids, like mailing post cards, and registering at the language school, etc. If I do have to stay home tomorrow, I'll probably be in the worst mood. I don't think I'll be able to look at the kids the rest of the weekend. It doesn't help that I feel like it's my fault that they are sick since I'm sure had an ear/sinus infection for a couple weeks. Even worse, I hardly took anything for it, and had to stick it out with the kids while they were on holidays even though I felt like I was going to die any second. Both Thomas and Matthew have at least 4 medicaments that they are taking in addition to their vitamin regimen.

Mais, c'est la vie. Luisa is still coming Saturday and she is staying the night so we will have the whole weekend together again :)

Tsunamis, Edith Piaf and une nouvelle amie

Question: Is it just me or is everything going on with Japan really as catastrophic as it seems? It was just one of those moments. You know, the ones that you don't easily forget. Like 9/11, I think I'll remember the details of when I heard about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan for years to come. The kids had just left for school, and I had just finished my cup of Tazo Wild Sweet Orange tea (my last teabag) when I walked into the living room where Nigel was sitting on the coffee table just gaping at the destruction in Sendai. "Gabriella, have you seen this?" he asked me. I hadn't. I stood behind the couch watching as Nigel pointed out various structures-- greenhouses, airports, the train, cars, etc. We were like that for about ten minutes until Nigel realized he was late for work. I told him he could turn off the TV, but after I washed my teacup, I ran back to my room and spent the rest of the morning watching the French reports in my room and gathering what I could from Facebook posts and American news sources online. I don't know why these seem so much more important than other earthquakes and tsunamis. Maybe it's just hard being so far away from home in times of crisis. Maybe it's my interpretation of the French news that makes it seem infinity times worse and closer to home than it actually is. Maybe it's that I've read too many books on 2012, think that if there is a God he looks an awful lot like Antonio Banderes, and therefore think that the end of the great cycle is near. However, I'm taking the Daniel Pinchbeck (minus the shrooms) and Hollywood interpretations of what December 21, 2012 will bring and therefore hope that with the end of the great cycle will be the beginning of an even greater cycle. Though how the Mayans missed that, I have no idea.

Fridays are also the days that Isabelle, the beloved cleaning lady, cleans la bas, so while the California coast was preparing for possible evacuation, I had to evacuate my room for about an hour. Escape route of choice? Leclerc :) I stocked up on chocolate so I would stop sneaking Thomas' and stopped by the CD store to find something to listen to in the car. Now, whenever I get sick of Rihanna, I can just pop L'essentiel Edith Piaf (that I got for 4,99 euro) into the car stereo and be happy.

But of even greater comfort and happiness, through my trials and distress in being so far from home at the moment, is my new friend Luisa. She just arrived in France last Sunday and emailed me sometime during the week asking if I wanted to meet. She is from Germany and her host-family lives in Frejus which is about an hour drive from Cogolin. The drive is really the only downside to our friendship, but I've discovered I actually do like driving here for God knows what reason and so even that doesn't seem so bad. She is so nice, probably one of the nicest people I've met here and we seem to really enjoy each other's company. We ended up hanging out both Saturday and Sunday even though the weather was absolutely terrible and there was absolutely nothing to do in Saint Raphael (a nice little town near Frejus). The rain and wind were so bad those two days, but "it's not where you are, it's who you're with." Luisa does have a car but it doesn't work past 3rd vitesse so she can't drive to Cogolin. However, next weekend is going to be absolutely beautiful and she is going to take the bus to Saint Tropez where we will spend Saturday afternoon. Then we will come back to the house for Pizza, go see a movie in Sainte Maxime, and then go out in Saint Tropez for the evening, probably with the other au pairs here.

I'm just so glad to finally have a good friend here that I feel comfortable with and can relate to. Also, she is teaching me some German! Knife is Messer, fork is Gabel, and spoon is Loffen. She has a GPS that we were using to try and find a movie Theatre and I was able to decipher a few things like Zweihundert meter is 200 meters and links abbieggen is left turn. We did eventually find the movie theatre even though the GPS gave us totally bogus directions, but then there weren't any movies that we wanted to see. Tant pis! I'm so excited for next weekend and also for the rest of my time here. I'm starting to hope it doesn't go by too fast!

two months

It's funny how time seems to crawl by so slowly and then all of a sudden it's March! In two months time I have fallen in and out of love with France so many times it has been hard to keep track of exactly where I stand on the matter. But in the past week, since I've moved into the main house, every day just keeps getting better and better and every day I find myself falling in love with France, specifically Saint Tropez, all over again. If there is a God, it would probably be a good idea for him to send me some kind of sign if there is ever a place more perfect than this; otherwise I would never believe it. Unfortunately, the entire world thinks the same thing and come summer, despite the rumors of how magical the Riviera is between July and August, it might be a good idea to skip town. That actually works out for me since I'm coming home sometime in June. That's only three months from now though and as I've started to feel more at home here, I can't help but think that it is too soon.

Saturday, I went to Saint Tropez by myself for the first time. I was on a mission to buy a swimsuit since it was going to be 15 degrees (60 Fahrenheit) the next day, a sure sign that Spring was on its way. At first I was really nervous, because I was afraid that everything would be too expensive and that I would say the wrong things and instantly be labelled as a foreigner. But finally I got up the courage to go in Kiwi Saint Tropez (a swimsuit shop), and I walked out with a white bandeau bikini with red flowers for only 30 euro! After that, I seemed to find my footing and ventured in some other small boutiques. I'm still semi-terrified of the high-fashion boutiques like Dior and Chanel (Louis Vuitton has a big hulking security guard/bouncer guy who freaks the bejeeezus out of me), but soon enough I might try my fancy there as well (not that I would ever be able to buy anything). But boutiques like Brigitte B. and Manoush (my absolute favorite), are much less intimidating and super cute, although still way out of my price range. At the end of the day, I had the swimsuit from Kiwi, a light rose sweater from The Earth Collection, a bundle of post cards and the March edition of Vogue Paris (for 4 euro! much better deal than the 16$ I spend on each issue at home).

Sunday, 15 degrees and SUN! for Saint Tropez. I decided to take Christine's bike out in the afternoon, mosey through town a bit and then hit the beach for a late lunch (ham sandwich= baguette with ham). It was a delightfully pleasant day. I parked my bike at the port before wandering the more familiar streets. Everyday it seems that there are more and more people in Saint Tropez but it isn't too bad yet. Still, it got to a point where I wanted a bit of isolation. So I made a little game, every time I saw a person, I had to turn down an empty street. Saint Tropez is surprisingly small but that makes it virtually impossible to get lost. But it was actually on one of the more crowded streets that I found a small alley that led to a hidden cove. There was one other family on the beach but there were some rocks that I jumped out on where I sat to have my lunch. It was so warm and peaceful and perfect, I felt like I could have just sat there in the sun forever. When I finished eating, I resumed my meandering through Saint Tropez before deciding it was time to head back. About five minutes into my ride home I changed my mind and decided to stop at another beach for a little bit. I locked the bike, ran down near the water and set my bag down in the sand. It was then that I came up with the brilliant beyond brilliant idea to go swimming, I was wearing my new swimsuit after all. It wasn't too cold, but it still took me about five times running in and out of the water before I finally took the plunge and submerged my body. I didn't get my head wet because even I have enough sense to know it was too cold for that. After drying off in the sun while reading another chapter of the Satanic Verses, I finally made my way back home. I knew the ride back was going to be difficult because on the way to Saint Tropez, in 14th vitesse, I hardly had to touch the pedals on the bike. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but once I got to Cogolin centre ville, I slowed down significantly and struggled the rest of the way back up the hill. I'll get used to it eventually. From now on I think I will ride my bike to Saint Tropez on weekends when I have nothing else to do. I have to drive during the week though since I have to pick up the kids from school.

The kids are finally back in school as of today (thank god). So in addition to the free weekend I had, I now have plenty of free time during the week too. It is significantly colder and windier than it was this weekend, but it's work-time anyways. I have to go register at the language school so Christine and I can finish the documents for my dossier-- for some reason I have to get a new Visa. It's all bureaucratic stuff I'm sure I could get by without, but it's probably better to do things the right way. Anyways, my French keeps getting worse and worse since I hardly speak it at all anymore and the language school will be something to do during the week. Also I might go get a guitar or ukelele from the toy store today, just for kicks. There are just so many things that I want to do, I feel like I'll never have time for all of them. Oh well, I have to start somewhere.

Bisous!