it could always be worse

"You're too laid back and the kids don't like you. If you don't shape up we're going to have to get rid of you. The au pair is supposed to make the parents life easier and with Beke and Lotte it was easier. You just make everything difficult. So get it together or you'll be going home early," Nigel warned me Thursday morning. It's safe to say I've been in a right state ever since. I spent most of Thursday morning crying my eyes out and since then I've just been trying to be perfect.

But over the past few days, I've come to realize that there isn't really anything I can do about it. I am laid back. I like to think it's part of my charm. I have endless amounts of patience that are only tested when there's a time limit on how long something should take or when I'm getting beaten to death by a 4-year-old. I'm not a yeller or a hitter or a fighter by nature and it really takes a lot to bring out that side of me.

So I've more or less just started being myself and not worrying about whether or not the kids like me or whether I'm doing everything absolutely perfectly. They're either happy with me or they're not. If they want to get rid of me then they'll get rid of me and I will figure something else out. Because that's the only thing I can do at this point. However, sitting, waiting, wishing for things to get better isn't my way either. I'm still committed to giving this my all, or as much as I have left of it for as long as I am here.